Weighing In

My Mii is overweight.  One could argue this is because I'm overweight.  This is frustrating because I gave birth to an 8lb. 13 oz. baby 8 weeks ago.  Too bad there isn't a way for me to tell the Wii scale that I still have some baby fat.  On the plus side, I'm losing weight rapidly and the little talking Wii Fit scale commends me for getting closer to my goal.  

How am I earning the praise of the talking Wii Fit scale?  I'm breastfeeding, carrying around my 12 lb. baby, walking the neighborhood, and watching the Tyra Banks show.

What? Tyra Banks?  How does Tyra inspire me?

Well....when she's not talking about how great she is or making people into supermodels for a day, the topic of her show seems to be about being fat and sex.  It's like a trainwreck....I can't stop watching.  On one episode women were extremely obese and their husbands/partners were turned on by feeding them.   This isn't just feeding them chocolate dipped strawberries or some other exciting food......nope....they feed them a whole box of doughnuts.  Or a whole chocolate cake.  I wish in my post-baby state that eating a piece of chocolate cake would be considered sexy.  But for me, I wouldn't just be eating chocolate cake.....I'd likely be in PJ's with spit up on my shirt.  Sexy, right?

Today's show was a kicker.  This couple has been married a year and have only had "married sex" 10 times.  Before they were married they had sex all the time - "Like 10 times a day".  Holy Moley!  And the guy said they had a game called "The Mission" (Yeah, this is already TMI for a daytime talk show....all this knowledge before noon....no proper southern girl would hear such talk).  On "The Mission" they would find a place to have sex in public and then go eat doughnuts when they were finished.  Now that they are married, the wife feels like she's not sexy anymore because of her weight (See...Tyra is all about talking about weight and sex).  I couldn't help laughing.....she's gained weight and that's not funny.  What's funny is they would have sex 10 times a day and celebrate afterwards by eating doughnuts.  Let's count this up, honey.....10 doughnuts a day = gaining weight = fat sex.  And if you're not into fat sex, maybe you should celebrate your recent escapade with a glass of water.  Or a piece of celery.  Mmm....sexy celery.

Thanks Tyra, for making me feel normal.  And thin.  And happy.  And a big weirdo for watching your show daily.

Thank goodness I'm going back to work....no more being sucked into the pit of daytime talk shows.