Dead Ant.....dead ant....dead ant, dead ant, dead ant

Quick thought....

We have an ant problem in our house.  They are lined up across the kitchen to gain access to the dog food container (makes me feel like my food is no good since they chose to eat the dog food).

The University crow plan has inspired me.....

I need an Ant Task Force.

First order of business, to create ant effigies to deter the ants from marching one by one.

Secondly, we need a scare tactic.  I don't think bangers and screamers are necessary since I don't know how much (or if) ants hear.  

My vote is for a good can of ant killer.

Ant traps are already in place (but keep moving since we discovered one of the dogs likes to carry them around the house - he's okay and doesn't eat them....not quite sure why the dog is semi-suicidal)

Hopefully these ants, like the crows on campus, will relocate to a "better" marching area.  And they all go marching down.

A Rose by Any Other Name....

Or a flu by any other name.  

Recently we've had our fair share of flu scares.  Avian flu was such a hot flu bug and now we have Swine flu.  Swine flu is amusing, not because of the scare, but because of the name.  What's in a name, you ask dear Romeo?

Here's further proof that people will be offended by anything and everything.  Israeli officials are encouraging WHO (that's the World Health Organization, not the band or me yelling at you in all caps) to change the name because it is offensive to pork sensitive people (Muslims and Jews).  Seriously?  I mean, that's like an African American being offended that we call it the Black Plague.  

So, to help out WHO and to appease offended people everywhere, I offer up a few alternative names to this current scary flu bug....

FMD - Flu of Mass Destruction

Coodies (they're scary enough to make kids practice good hygiene)

Animal flu (let's just cover the whole genre here)

Blue Flu (I don't think anyone is offended by blue....except maybe Democrats.....but it rhymes)

Wilber Flu (offending Charlotte's Web fans everywhere)

Oink flu (because it would be funny to see TV people say Oink)

Porky flu ( you could argue it was for the movie and not for the meat)

The Flu that should not be named (a tribute to Harry Potter)

and the one I can't take credit for....

Mexican Flu (because we must choose who to offend - non-pork people or Mexicans)

It's not funny, but it is amusing.  So, make sure to wash your hands and don't go out in public if you're sick.  I don't want whatever this crap is called so keep your germs to yourself.  And, if Shakespeare were here I'm sure he'd agree "A flu by any other name is just as scary".

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30453557/

Weighing In

My Mii is overweight.  One could argue this is because I'm overweight.  This is frustrating because I gave birth to an 8lb. 13 oz. baby 8 weeks ago.  Too bad there isn't a way for me to tell the Wii scale that I still have some baby fat.  On the plus side, I'm losing weight rapidly and the little talking Wii Fit scale commends me for getting closer to my goal.  

How am I earning the praise of the talking Wii Fit scale?  I'm breastfeeding, carrying around my 12 lb. baby, walking the neighborhood, and watching the Tyra Banks show.

What? Tyra Banks?  How does Tyra inspire me?

Well....when she's not talking about how great she is or making people into supermodels for a day, the topic of her show seems to be about being fat and sex.  It's like a trainwreck....I can't stop watching.  On one episode women were extremely obese and their husbands/partners were turned on by feeding them.   This isn't just feeding them chocolate dipped strawberries or some other exciting food......nope....they feed them a whole box of doughnuts.  Or a whole chocolate cake.  I wish in my post-baby state that eating a piece of chocolate cake would be considered sexy.  But for me, I wouldn't just be eating chocolate cake.....I'd likely be in PJ's with spit up on my shirt.  Sexy, right?

Today's show was a kicker.  This couple has been married a year and have only had "married sex" 10 times.  Before they were married they had sex all the time - "Like 10 times a day".  Holy Moley!  And the guy said they had a game called "The Mission" (Yeah, this is already TMI for a daytime talk show....all this knowledge before noon....no proper southern girl would hear such talk).  On "The Mission" they would find a place to have sex in public and then go eat doughnuts when they were finished.  Now that they are married, the wife feels like she's not sexy anymore because of her weight (See...Tyra is all about talking about weight and sex).  I couldn't help laughing.....she's gained weight and that's not funny.  What's funny is they would have sex 10 times a day and celebrate afterwards by eating doughnuts.  Let's count this up, honey.....10 doughnuts a day = gaining weight = fat sex.  And if you're not into fat sex, maybe you should celebrate your recent escapade with a glass of water.  Or a piece of celery.  Mmm....sexy celery.

Thanks Tyra, for making me feel normal.  And thin.  And happy.  And a big weirdo for watching your show daily.

Thank goodness I'm going back to work....no more being sucked into the pit of daytime talk shows.

An Oyster of a Different Color

We have airline miles we need to use up. So, in our brainstorming session on where to go on vacation (soon to include traveling with a baby), the hubby exclaims "Let's go to Montana!". Well, thanks dear, that's random.

Well, maybe not so random. We have friends that live in Montana. Yellowstone and Glacier National Park would be beautiful to visit. These things would be great traveling with a 7 month old. We get to travel with a super cool kid (fingers crossed on the super cool) that has yet to form an opinion about what they want to do. Read: Kid should be content just hanging with mom and dad and checking out the new scenery.

Aside from visiting with friends, I decided to look at other fun and unique events that we could check out. I've found it. Seriously....the ultimate festival of festival. This would be one that you must, must, must buy a t-shirt for.....
The Testicle Festival!
I'm not kidding. Rocky Mountain Oysters at their finest. It's an adult party. I'm glad - I really don't want my child's first word to be "testicle" or "balls" or anything of the like. The website says it's not suitable for children under 21. Apparently 21 is a magical age that you all of the sudden become mature (someone memo the students on campus before they go get sloshed tonight).
The scariest detail.....
"2 and 1/2 TONS of this gourmet food served"

Double ewww!
And the email address is a scream : testyfesty

My vote is to stick with Glacier, play Settlers of Catan with our friends, and eat lots of salad!


http://visitmt.com/categories/moreinfo.asp?IDRRecordID=8897&SiteID=1