Oh My God! They Killed.......

No, not Kenny. The Easter Bunny. Yep, that's right. I just had the strangest Easter Sunday ever! It was strange for so many reasons.....and now, I will attempt to articulate the strangeness.

First, Easter weekend started with a beautiful blanket of snow in our yard. That's right - 5 inches of stupid snow on Easter. After the hubby shoveled the sidewalk and the deck (so our tee-tiny dogs could go out and potty), we started in on our Easter festivities. I baked Amish Friendship bread and poured Limoncello on fruit while practicing how to speak Italian on my ipod in the kitchen. The pups waited for me to drop food and hubby was up in the attic rewiring the house. Our Easter lunch was scheduled to start at 1:00pm at our friend's house down the street. So at 1:15 (fashionably late) we loaded up the goods and headed down the street of our little village. (Note: Yet again I walked the streets with an open bottle of alcohol to go to our friend's house - it wouldn't be normal if I didn't).

We arrive at a wonderful dinner with good food and good conversation. Yeah....life is great.
The anticipation in the room started to grow as it got closer to the popular egg hunt. The older adults went outside to hide the eggs while the younger adults sat inside, ate fun dip, and drank beer.

Let me clarify the people involved in this Easter celebration. At 27 years old, I am one of the youngest at the party. The oldest is 81. Those over the age of 40 are hiding the eggs and those of us 25-40 are participating in the hunt.

So, the hunt begins and we all ran screaming to find the eggs. My hubby has a history of injuring himself on the egg hunt. A few years ago he scratched his eye diving into a bush to get an egg. This year, his thumb suffered an injury.

One of the eggs had a yellow post-it note that said "Winner!". This lucky individual received a chocolate peanut butter egg from a local chocolate shop. The lucky individual this year was me! Woohoo! Everyone was bummed that they didn't win, except for hubby who asked if he could take half of my winnings. I guess that's how a happy marriage works right - if I win a big hunkin' chocolate peanut butter egg, we split 50/50.

The next activity involved a beautiful hollow chocolate bunny named The Professor. At some point during the day, The Professor had been lynched and was hanging from a noose on the side of an old barn. Whatever are we to do? One suggestion was to throw darts at him.....someone else suggested golf balls.....and then someone brilliantly shouted "We should peg 'em with snowball". I mean, seriously, when could you ever peg a chocolate easter bunny with real snow balls?

We all start throwing snowballs at this poor lynched chocolate bunny. What must the neighbors think?

I don't know how it happened, but someone knocked the head off! The chocolate bunny was hanging on by one little sugary thread! We all move in closer and we continue to throw snowballs. And Score! I nailed the hollow bunny body and he fell to the ground. Oh-no! What have we done? We have to do something to the body so the dog doesn't eat the chocolate. One of the "dads" in the group steps out of the crowd and says "I have a firecracker in my pocket. Let's see if it'll blow up!". So, as the crowd backs away, two brave souls light the firecracker and place the hollow bunny head on top of the firecracker. The first time the head didn't stay in place so there was no explosion. The second try produced satisfying results. They lit the firecracker, placed the hollow chocolate bunny head on it, and we all held our breath in anticipation. About 10 seconds later the chocolate bunny head exploded in a million pieces! "I feel like we're on myth busters!" Someone shouted. "That was the wickedness Christmas EVER!" Someone else shouted. And then everyone stopped to ponder why she said Christmas and not Easter.

I should mention at this point that we are not drunk while doing this. I can see how it would be easy to say - Man, those people must be lit! But, this is not the case. In fact, only about 3 of us (out of 20 or so) had even had anything to drink at all. Which is why this story is freaking hilarious!

Back to the exploded bunny. We walked around trying to pick up our mess - again, so the dog doesn't find and eat the chocolate. Someone says, "We need to bury it".

So, we begin the chocolate bunny funeral service. "Ashes to Ashes, Confection to Confection". Someone starts in on a funeral hymn, which is cut off by someone singing a soulful version of "Here comes Peter Cottontail". My The Professor Chocolate Bunny and all his pieces Rest In Peace.

How could we possibly top this? Here's where we bring a little bit of Martha in. We managed to get into a discussion about eggs, dying easter eggs, and blowing eggs. Blowing eggs? What does this mean? "It's all legit...I saw it on Martha Stewart". We must try this! Thus begins the hour long activity of sticking a needle into both ends of an egg and attempting to "blow it's guts out". It is one of the nastiest, funniest things I have ever seen. It is so strange to sit around a table of adults cheering on "egg blowers" and celebrating when the egg has been blown out or blows up (on a person's face -yak!).

And after all that excitement, I went home and did laundry. I also cleaned my living room, organized my paperwork for a board meeting, and organized my sock drawer. What an uneventful way to end one of the zaniest days ever!

And, I know what you're thinking now - "And then I woke up!". But, No! This was not a dream....my dream this weekend was much stranger. I dreamed that we were traveling to England on the Queen Mary 2 with two of our dogs and we got lost in the Bermuda Triangle. Seriously, sometimes real life is better than fiction!

Here's to many more egg hunts, chocolate bunny snowball targets, and egg blowing contests. Cheers!