We have airline miles we need to use up. So, in our brainstorming session on where to go on vacation (soon to include traveling with a baby), the hubby exclaims "Let's go to Montana!". Well, thanks dear, that's random.
Well, maybe not so random. We have friends that live in Montana. Yellowstone and Glacier National Park would be beautiful to visit. These things would be great traveling with a 7 month old. We get to travel with a super cool kid (fingers crossed on the super cool) that has yet to form an opinion about what they want to do. Read: Kid should be content just hanging with mom and dad and checking out the new scenery.
Aside from visiting with friends, I decided to look at other fun and unique events that we could check out. I've found it. Seriously....the ultimate festival of festival. This would be one that you must, must, must buy a t-shirt for.....
The Testicle Festival!
I'm not kidding. Rocky Mountain Oysters at their finest. It's an adult party. I'm glad - I really don't want my child's first word to be "testicle" or "balls" or anything of the like. The website says it's not suitable for children under 21. Apparently 21 is a magical age that you all of the sudden become mature (someone memo the students on campus before they go get sloshed tonight).
The scariest detail.....
"2 and 1/2 TONS of this gourmet food served"
Double ewww!
And the email address is a scream : testyfesty
My vote is to stick with Glacier, play Settlers of Catan with our friends, and eat lots of salad!
http://visitmt.com/categories/moreinfo.asp?IDRRecordID=8897&SiteID=1
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The BoobFairy
Anyone who can write a song about boobfairies, belly dancing, and fondue is AMAZING. We saw Dierdre Flint perform in State College over the summer.....only a few songs, but I can't get her out of my head. She's funny and witty and just peachy.....
http://www.deirdreflint.com/home.html
Check her out! She's performing in State College on New Years Eve as a part of First Night. I'm so there!
http://www.deirdreflint.com/home.html
Check her out! She's performing in State College on New Years Eve as a part of First Night. I'm so there!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Whoa, Baby!!!!
I will be giving birth in the next 8 weeks.
This is such a strange statement. Why?
1. I feel like I'm entirely too young to have a kid (I'm not....my age, marital status, etc. are all in check)
2. I need about 2 years - not just 8 weeks - to feel like I'm organized for this event.
3. Is this really a statement where the word "give" is necessary? What am I giving? It's like a present to the kid....or a gift to me? I'm really weirded out by the term "give birth". ("Give Birth" freaks me out now...."Got Milk" makes me laugh at the moment)
Why would this amuse me? At this point in my well-rounded state, I'm easily amused and equally amazed by people being so freakin' excited about "giving birth". Seriously, people are really into this stuff. Me? I just want to know what the heck is going to happen, how to not freak out or beat up my husband, and what to do with the happy little kiddo when it gets here.
We're currently taking Childbirth Education classes. The plan was to find out the basics.....you know, the whole "What to Expect When You're Expecting" stuff and having a chance to meet other freaked out couples that are interested in talking about creative ways to put on socks or clean the bathtub (both of which are getting close to impossible for me to do on my own). But no, no, no....that is not the goal of Childbirth Education. The goal (from my POV and pregnancy grumpiness) is to make me watch videos of ugly people (circa 1984) giving birth and then try to convince me that I should just get in the shower instead of taking drugs. What? and Ewww! and WHAT?
To illustrate my point, I present the story of the Elk and the Epidural. I've tried to find some little snippet of this video to no avail. It's a story of a mother Elk - using her goddess powers from within - to give birth to her baby elk. But alas, she feels she needs an epidural. (Because it freakin' hurts!) The father Elk and the mouse doula consult with each other to make sure this is what she really wants. (Rule 1 - Never question the pregnant woman...or, um, Elk.) Once they give her the epidural, she must enter Cascade Falls because an epidural sets off a chain of interventions into the natural childbirth process. (I thought we were suppose to get in the shower...Cascade Falls seems like a good idea). The video ends with the entire class with their mouths hanging open. Perhaps some of them were in awe at this wonderful story. My feeling - most were thinking - "Dude, that would have been so much funnier with a beer!". And as a side note, this comes from from a group that call themselves "birth warriors". Wow!
The event of the Elk and the Epidural was a few weeks ago. I thought of it today because of another event happening at our local theatre. We have a showing of "Orgasmic Birth". Really? I'm in my 8 month of pregnancy and the two words I don't want to hear together are "Orgasmic" and "Birth". Here is my brief list of two words that I'd love to hear together.....
Orgasmic Cake
Orgasmic Smoothie
Quick Birth
Happy Birth
The movie "Orgasmic Birth" shows 11 couples giving birth (that's 11 more than I want to see). I can't even watch "A Baby Story" without crying or freaking out....I can't imagine watching 11 episodes back to back.
And did I mention that there will be no mirrors or video cameras in my "birthing room" with my "support person" (aka at the hospital with the hubby).
I'm not a cranky pregnant lady (most of the time) and I really do embrace my womanhood (I wanted to be She-ra growing up). However, I appreciate modern medicine and I have high respect for the doctors and nurses that will be helping our little kiddo come into the world. You never realize how polarizing opinions can be until you throw yourself into the middle of it all. At this point in my roundness, it's very hard (literally and figuratively) to sit on the fence.
We still have more Childbirth Education to come - Hit me, Baby, One More Time!
(PS - Kudos B. Spears on turning 27 and starting to act like it - You're not a girl....and after having 2 kids, you've rocketed to Womanhood)
This is such a strange statement. Why?
1. I feel like I'm entirely too young to have a kid (I'm not....my age, marital status, etc. are all in check)
2. I need about 2 years - not just 8 weeks - to feel like I'm organized for this event.
3. Is this really a statement where the word "give" is necessary? What am I giving? It's like a present to the kid....or a gift to me? I'm really weirded out by the term "give birth". ("Give Birth" freaks me out now...."Got Milk" makes me laugh at the moment)
Why would this amuse me? At this point in my well-rounded state, I'm easily amused and equally amazed by people being so freakin' excited about "giving birth". Seriously, people are really into this stuff. Me? I just want to know what the heck is going to happen, how to not freak out or beat up my husband, and what to do with the happy little kiddo when it gets here.
We're currently taking Childbirth Education classes. The plan was to find out the basics.....you know, the whole "What to Expect When You're Expecting" stuff and having a chance to meet other freaked out couples that are interested in talking about creative ways to put on socks or clean the bathtub (both of which are getting close to impossible for me to do on my own). But no, no, no....that is not the goal of Childbirth Education. The goal (from my POV and pregnancy grumpiness) is to make me watch videos of ugly people (circa 1984) giving birth and then try to convince me that I should just get in the shower instead of taking drugs. What? and Ewww! and WHAT?
To illustrate my point, I present the story of the Elk and the Epidural. I've tried to find some little snippet of this video to no avail. It's a story of a mother Elk - using her goddess powers from within - to give birth to her baby elk. But alas, she feels she needs an epidural. (Because it freakin' hurts!) The father Elk and the mouse doula consult with each other to make sure this is what she really wants. (Rule 1 - Never question the pregnant woman...or, um, Elk.) Once they give her the epidural, she must enter Cascade Falls because an epidural sets off a chain of interventions into the natural childbirth process. (I thought we were suppose to get in the shower...Cascade Falls seems like a good idea). The video ends with the entire class with their mouths hanging open. Perhaps some of them were in awe at this wonderful story. My feeling - most were thinking - "Dude, that would have been so much funnier with a beer!". And as a side note, this comes from from a group that call themselves "birth warriors". Wow!
The event of the Elk and the Epidural was a few weeks ago. I thought of it today because of another event happening at our local theatre. We have a showing of "Orgasmic Birth". Really? I'm in my 8 month of pregnancy and the two words I don't want to hear together are "Orgasmic" and "Birth". Here is my brief list of two words that I'd love to hear together.....
Orgasmic Cake
Orgasmic Smoothie
Quick Birth
Happy Birth
The movie "Orgasmic Birth" shows 11 couples giving birth (that's 11 more than I want to see). I can't even watch "A Baby Story" without crying or freaking out....I can't imagine watching 11 episodes back to back.
And did I mention that there will be no mirrors or video cameras in my "birthing room" with my "support person" (aka at the hospital with the hubby).
I'm not a cranky pregnant lady (most of the time) and I really do embrace my womanhood (I wanted to be She-ra growing up). However, I appreciate modern medicine and I have high respect for the doctors and nurses that will be helping our little kiddo come into the world. You never realize how polarizing opinions can be until you throw yourself into the middle of it all. At this point in my roundness, it's very hard (literally and figuratively) to sit on the fence.
We still have more Childbirth Education to come - Hit me, Baby, One More Time!
(PS - Kudos B. Spears on turning 27 and starting to act like it - You're not a girl....and after having 2 kids, you've rocketed to Womanhood)
Friday, November 21, 2008
Don't You Crrryyy Tonight
We all have a reason to smile in the November Rain - we can all get a free soda. And not just any soda - one of the best sodas - Dr. Pepper.
Dr. Pepper announced they will be issuing coupons for a free 20 oz. beverage to make good on their word that everyone would get a soda if Guns n Roses dropped their album in 2008.
Check it out: http://news.yahoo.com/s/eonline/20081024/en_music_eo/65504
And as a side note, when did dirty Axl Rose start looking more like Carrot Top? The down and dirty, leather wearing, long hair screamer from the past is back as a middle age man with some weight to him. This just totally ruins the mental image I have every time I roller skate to Paradise City. Oh wait....I'm just a married, pregnant chic now (Oh, Sweet Child 'O Mine).....I guess long gone are my days of ripped jeans and body suits. I guess I haven't roller skated to Paradise City since Axl paired red bandannas with leather pants.
Welcome to the jungle....we've got fun and games....and free Dr. Peppers!
Dr. Pepper announced they will be issuing coupons for a free 20 oz. beverage to make good on their word that everyone would get a soda if Guns n Roses dropped their album in 2008.
Check it out: http://news.yahoo.com/s/eonline/20081024/en_music_eo/65504
And as a side note, when did dirty Axl Rose start looking more like Carrot Top? The down and dirty, leather wearing, long hair screamer from the past is back as a middle age man with some weight to him. This just totally ruins the mental image I have every time I roller skate to Paradise City. Oh wait....I'm just a married, pregnant chic now (Oh, Sweet Child 'O Mine).....I guess long gone are my days of ripped jeans and body suits. I guess I haven't roller skated to Paradise City since Axl paired red bandannas with leather pants.
Welcome to the jungle....we've got fun and games....and free Dr. Peppers!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Birds, The Birds
There is a problem at my place of employment. The problem is so huge, in fact, that a special taskforce with the Office of the Physical Plant that has been charged with correcting this problem.
Crows. That's right - crows are apparently taking over. (Hitchcock would be proud and highly amused, I'm sure). I get an email yesterday informing all employees of the procedures involved in "relocating" the birds.
It's not funny that we have a bird problem. It's not funny that they are relocating the birds. What is funny is imagining the taskforce doing what they must do to get the birds to relocate. This amazing group will hence be fondly referred to (by me) as CRAs - Crow Relocation Assistants.
The charge to the CRA is to relocate the crows. The methods of relocation include (as quoted from the official email from my employer):
1. The use of pyrotechnic noisemakers called "bangers" and "screamers" by carefully trained employees.
2. The hanging of dead crow effigies to dissuade the crows from returning.
3. The declaration of "non-roosting" zones in designated areas to promote more sanitary conditions.
At first, this email frightened me as I imagined large fireworks freaking out large flocks of crows that will decide to re-roost, no doubt, on my car. To escape them, I must run across campus (to find a phone booth to hide in, of course) past all of the hanging crow carcasses. Once I receive an email, (hmmm....how will I get the email in my phone booth hideout?) I can find comfort in leisurely walking through a new crow free zone including a slew of "No Roosting" signs - those signs oughta scare 'em off.
I'm waiting for the second phase of the taskforce - the CTP (Crow Ticketing Patrol) to issue tickets to those unruly crows that dare disregard our No Roosting areas. Shame, crows, shame!
After my initial 2.7 seconds of fright, the entire situation became much more amusing. I found myself jealous. Not of these wonderfully trained CRA agents - no, no, no. I was extremely jealous of the employee that was fortunate enough to generate this mass email. They were charged with making a group of crow scarer-off'ers with loud fireworks running around town hanging up dead crows from trees sound like a professional group instead of a group of drunk students on Halloween weekend. Bravo, writer-upper of the mass email - you've successfully amused everyone.
And, by the way, what ever happened to a classic scarecrow? Isn't that their job? I guess he's in the unemployment line with most Americans - his job has been replaced. Or maybe he just quit. If I were a scarecrow and CRA's were around me with pyrotechnic bangers, I sure as hell would quit. I believe they call that a "hostile work environment".
Bye, Bye Blackbird!
Crows. That's right - crows are apparently taking over. (Hitchcock would be proud and highly amused, I'm sure). I get an email yesterday informing all employees of the procedures involved in "relocating" the birds.
It's not funny that we have a bird problem. It's not funny that they are relocating the birds. What is funny is imagining the taskforce doing what they must do to get the birds to relocate. This amazing group will hence be fondly referred to (by me) as CRAs - Crow Relocation Assistants.
The charge to the CRA is to relocate the crows. The methods of relocation include (as quoted from the official email from my employer):
1. The use of pyrotechnic noisemakers called "bangers" and "screamers" by carefully trained employees.
2. The hanging of dead crow effigies to dissuade the crows from returning.
3. The declaration of "non-roosting" zones in designated areas to promote more sanitary conditions.
At first, this email frightened me as I imagined large fireworks freaking out large flocks of crows that will decide to re-roost, no doubt, on my car. To escape them, I must run across campus (to find a phone booth to hide in, of course) past all of the hanging crow carcasses. Once I receive an email, (hmmm....how will I get the email in my phone booth hideout?) I can find comfort in leisurely walking through a new crow free zone including a slew of "No Roosting" signs - those signs oughta scare 'em off.
I'm waiting for the second phase of the taskforce - the CTP (Crow Ticketing Patrol) to issue tickets to those unruly crows that dare disregard our No Roosting areas. Shame, crows, shame!
After my initial 2.7 seconds of fright, the entire situation became much more amusing. I found myself jealous. Not of these wonderfully trained CRA agents - no, no, no. I was extremely jealous of the employee that was fortunate enough to generate this mass email. They were charged with making a group of crow scarer-off'ers with loud fireworks running around town hanging up dead crows from trees sound like a professional group instead of a group of drunk students on Halloween weekend. Bravo, writer-upper of the mass email - you've successfully amused everyone.
And, by the way, what ever happened to a classic scarecrow? Isn't that their job? I guess he's in the unemployment line with most Americans - his job has been replaced. Or maybe he just quit. If I were a scarecrow and CRA's were around me with pyrotechnic bangers, I sure as hell would quit. I believe they call that a "hostile work environment".
Bye, Bye Blackbird!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Just Get on the Floor and do the New Kids Dance
Don't worry 'bout nothing cuz it won't take long!
Yes, they've put me in a trance with a funky song. My childhood crushes have decided to reunite for a reunion tour. It has been 15 years since I cried over how beautiful Jordan Knight is and at least that long since I grabbed my belt buckle and swung my legs side to side to do "The Right Stuff" dance. Being a child of the late '80s and early '90s in a southern city suburb means that I was head over heels for New Kids on the Block. Recently they announced their reunion tour which includes a little of the old stuff and some of the new - but for me, it's all the right stuff. After discovering a news article about them, I launched myself into a mad search for all things NKOTB. I started humming "Popsicle" at work.....for those of you that missed those brilliant lyrics, it goes a little something like - "You're my popsicle. From the first time I met you girl, you captured me. Sweeter than candy, better than cake - and everytime we kiss it feels oh so great!" Seriously! Who wouldn't swoon hearing a boy sing this with notes higher than I can sing now. *Sigh*
I'm just giddy over the whole thing! The only bad part is all of my New Kids swag is gone (and likely too small anyway). Oh, how I miss my florescent colored hats and shirts proudly displaying which member of the boy band that I most desired (I will fight forever that Jordan was the best!). My only souvenirs are cassette tapes (from the self-titled album to Step by Step) and two VHS's that are somewhere at my parents house (crossing my fingers that they didn't jump into the last yard sale pile).
And here's one to bring a tear to your eye (or mine at least): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLhSHktuZGw
My Jordan professing his undying love to me - yep, just me. And you must check out the rat-tails on these guys! Wow!
Oh my NKOTB, You've got the right stuff, baby. Love the way you turn me on. And I sure do love the way you bring me to tears 15 years after I stalked you all.
I'll be loving you, New Kids on the Block, FOREVER!
Just get on the floor and do the New Kids Dance - elbow thrust to the right, elbow thrust to the left, pelvic thrust. Get loose everybody cuz they're going to do their thing!
Yes, they've put me in a trance with a funky song. My childhood crushes have decided to reunite for a reunion tour. It has been 15 years since I cried over how beautiful Jordan Knight is and at least that long since I grabbed my belt buckle and swung my legs side to side to do "The Right Stuff" dance. Being a child of the late '80s and early '90s in a southern city suburb means that I was head over heels for New Kids on the Block. Recently they announced their reunion tour which includes a little of the old stuff and some of the new - but for me, it's all the right stuff. After discovering a news article about them, I launched myself into a mad search for all things NKOTB. I started humming "Popsicle" at work.....for those of you that missed those brilliant lyrics, it goes a little something like - "You're my popsicle. From the first time I met you girl, you captured me. Sweeter than candy, better than cake - and everytime we kiss it feels oh so great!" Seriously! Who wouldn't swoon hearing a boy sing this with notes higher than I can sing now. *Sigh*
I'm just giddy over the whole thing! The only bad part is all of my New Kids swag is gone (and likely too small anyway). Oh, how I miss my florescent colored hats and shirts proudly displaying which member of the boy band that I most desired (I will fight forever that Jordan was the best!). My only souvenirs are cassette tapes (from the self-titled album to Step by Step) and two VHS's that are somewhere at my parents house (crossing my fingers that they didn't jump into the last yard sale pile).
And here's one to bring a tear to your eye (or mine at least): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLhSHktuZGw
My Jordan professing his undying love to me - yep, just me. And you must check out the rat-tails on these guys! Wow!
Oh my NKOTB, You've got the right stuff, baby. Love the way you turn me on. And I sure do love the way you bring me to tears 15 years after I stalked you all.
I'll be loving you, New Kids on the Block, FOREVER!
Just get on the floor and do the New Kids Dance - elbow thrust to the right, elbow thrust to the left, pelvic thrust. Get loose everybody cuz they're going to do their thing!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Cuz you had a bad day....
Everyone has had a bad day, right? Last week I was having the motherload of bad days and one thing after another kept blowing up in my face. At some point people are either driven to madness or just sit around and cry a river. I had a very different experience. After spilling coffee on my white sweater (which can thankfully be washed at work in the theatre laundry room), losing a UPS package, forgetting my cell phone, and numerous other little things, my level of frustration was so high that I was going to burst.
Then the phone rings.....
I'm talking with a student that has some random question (I was asked if I knew were a ladder was that someone could carry across town - what??). I tell her that I'll need to transfer her over to someone else and the line goes dead. At first I thought she'd hung up on me - how dare she! but then I realized that I was no longer attached to my phone. The entire phone cord fell out and I was left holding the handset of the phone. My frustration bubble popped when I started laughing....it was the icing on the cake.
And today I get to work and discover that someone took my good pen. I can tell already that I'm going to need something to blow up or fall down or break just to give me a good laugh today.
Blue skies are going to clear up......
Then the phone rings.....
I'm talking with a student that has some random question (I was asked if I knew were a ladder was that someone could carry across town - what??). I tell her that I'll need to transfer her over to someone else and the line goes dead. At first I thought she'd hung up on me - how dare she! but then I realized that I was no longer attached to my phone. The entire phone cord fell out and I was left holding the handset of the phone. My frustration bubble popped when I started laughing....it was the icing on the cake.
And today I get to work and discover that someone took my good pen. I can tell already that I'm going to need something to blow up or fall down or break just to give me a good laugh today.
Blue skies are going to clear up......
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